Excerpt of Battered Mind Chapter 1


Sadie Carlyle awoke in a state of despair when she finally opened her eyes, and noticed that 
she was lying in what appeared to be a large hospital bed.   Then,  she immediately began 
screaming very loudly.  She was so out of control that a strong sedative was required to calm her 
down.   Her long red hair looked so dry, as the sedative took immediate effect.  It was not very 
long before her greenish eyes began to close again, her skin looked so pale as the nurse applied 
a soft pillow under her neck.   This had been an intense few days for Sadie.   Her emotions   
were running so high that you could see the puffiness in her swollen eyes from all the non-stop 
crying.   It was so hard to believe that Sadie was once a very attractive green eyed 
red head that captivated a room with her profound beauty.  After a few minutes the nurse noticed 
that Sadie was bleeding from her nose.   As this was going on, the nurse quickly called the 
doctor .   In the meantime Sadie still  asleep began  to let her mind get whisked away.  
  “Here he comes again screaming at me always  terrifying me why 
can’t he see that he is hurting me”.  
Mrs. Carlyle , Mrs. Carlyle called a man in a dark suit.  Suddenly, Sadie was no longer in  
the hospital bed.   She was in a courtroom.  Her heart was racing and she appeared 
very agitated and confused.   However, she decided to take a deep breath to calm her 
nerves.    
Sadness is approaching it feels very dark-  I feel it pulling me closer 
to the end of a cliff and then I am drowning”.

Comments

  1. I hope you don't mind.
    Sadie Carlye awoke abruptly, her brain, like a ligh switch flipped from off to on. Her eyes wide open, she quickly turned her head, scanning the room to get a hint of where she lay. The antiseptic small and the metel bed she lay on made her realize she was was in a hospital room. With panic rising she tried to get out of the bed but found she didn't have the strentgh to get up. She screamed for a nurse or for someone to help her, and her voice rose hysterically as it seemed like forever for anyone to finally come. A nurse, whose name tag identified her as Jane Doe, rushed in and tried to calm her but Jane couldn't get Sadie to calm down. Holding Sadie down firmly onto the bed Jane hit the button above the bed and called for help. Another nurse appeared with a hypodermic and she and Jane held Sadie down as the other nurse, Janet, empetied the syringe into Sadie.

    What do you think..?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great ideas. I appreciate the information. I am still working on my draft. However, I appreciate the advice and what you wrote.

      Delete
  2. I appreciate the comment. I could always use advice. This was however a first draft and I am still tweaking with my ideas. This sounds good. However, I am still working on my first draft and I am adding things as I go along. But thanks for the comment!


    Syl Stein

    ReplyDelete

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